


The Best Wingman Ever

by magisterpavus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Bad Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Kissing, Lingerie, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Nerdiness, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Scars, Scheming, Self-Esteem Issues, Space Mall, nerds with self-esteem issues, that should be shance's tagline tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 19:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterpavus/pseuds/magisterpavus
Summary: “I don’t understand,” Keith said flatly.“IthinkIhaveabigfatstupidcrushonLance,” Shiro repeated.Keith rubbed his eyes. “No, yeah, I got that; I just mean I don’t understand what you wantmeto do about it, Shiro.”Shiro gawked at him. “Help me, Keith! That’s what best friends are supposed to do, you know, you’re supposed to be my, uh...wingman.” As soon as he said it, Shiro realized what an awful idea it was.





	The Best Wingman Ever

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the wonderful @keithhawke~
> 
> support me on tumblr [@saltyshiro](http://saltyshiro.tumblr.com/)

“I don’t understand,” Keith said flatly.

“IthinkIhaveabigfatstupidcrushonLance,” Shiro repeated.

Keith rubbed his eyes. “No, yeah, I got that; I just mean I don’t understand what you want _me_ to do about it, Shiro.”

Shiro gawked at him. “Help me, Keith! That’s what best friends are supposed to do, you know, you’re supposed to be my, uh...wingman.” As soon as he said it, Shiro realized what an awful idea it was.

“You want _me_ to be your _wingman _.” Keith pursed his lips.__

 __“__ Yes, like, you make me look really good to Lance,” Shiro muttered, cringing even as he said it. “And do things like, uh, casually suggest that he should date me. Or kiss me. Or something.”

“Why don’t you just tell Lance those things?” Keith asked, confused.

“I – I have to test the waters first!” Shiro spluttered. “That’s...that’s how flirting works, right?”

“Don’t look at me,” Keith said. “I have no idea.”

“You hooked up with at least two people at the Garrison,” Shiro said. “You have to know a few things…”

“About hooking up, sure, but flirting?” Keith shrugged helplessly. “It just happened, I dunno how.”

“Because you’re hot, that’s how,” Shiro complained, head thudding back against the wall.

“You’re hotter than I am,” Keith protested. “Don’t argue, by conventional standards it’s true. And some unconventional standards. You’re built like a damn tank and you have the bone structure of a Versace model.”

“But I’m not a pretty alien chick,” Shiro sighed. “So with Lance, I’m doomed.”

Keith was quiet for a few moments, then patted his arm and said, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Shiro looked at him, wide-eyed. “Wait. Really?!”

“Yes,” Keith said. “But I’m warning you in advance – this is going to be a mess.”

“Thank you!” Shiro exclaimed, wrapping him up in a bear hug and praying he wasn’t going to seriously regret this. How bad could it be?

Keith wheezed and smacked his back. “Don’t mention it.”

*

“Hey. Hey, Lance.”

Lance glared, slamming his staff against Keith’s with a resounding clang. “What, mullet head?” Lance panted. Hand-to-hand combat was not his forte, but it was Keith’s. Thus, Lance was stuck with him for a few hours, because practice makes perfect, bla bla bla.

“You notice anything – hey, good one – new about Shiro, lately?”

 _Besides the fact that he’s still smokin’ hot and so outta my league it’s not even funny at this point?_ “No,” Lance retorted, blocking Keith’s jab again and grimacing when the impact reverberated painfully up his arm. “Jeez, I’m not a training droid, y’know!”

“Is that you saying you want me to go easier on you?” Keith said. Lance nearly landed a hit in reply. “Anyway – Shiro. You really haven’t noticed _anything_?”

Lance squinted at him suspiciously. “What is this, a riddle? No, should I have?” He furrowed his brow. “Wait, is Shiro, like...okay?”

“No!” Keith exclaimed, looking almost cheerful about it.

Lance took a step back, holding his staff in the at-ease stance. “He isn’t okay? What’s wrong?”

“You care about Shiro being not okay?” Keith pressed. What the hell? Lance had his suspicions about Keith being a sociopath all along, but this really took the cake.

“Of course I care, he’s my friend,” Lance snapped. “What’s going on with Shiro, Keith?”

Keith looked to be in deep, contemplative thought for a long moment, then he leaned in and said in a conspiratorial whisper, “You didn’t hear it from me, but I think he’s _pining_.”

Lance’s stomach flipped. “Pining,” he repeated flatly. “Well, after who?”

Keith floundered. “I – um – I mean I can’t say for sure, but –”

“Wow, Keith, c’mon, I know even you aren’t that oblivious,” Lance sighed. “It’s Allura, duh.”

“Allura?” Keith blinked owlishly. “I don’t think…”

“Of course it’s her,” Lance said. “Not exactly a ton of other single women around. Plus, I mean, she’s beautiful, and a princess, and you just know that if she and Shiro had gone to high school together they’d be like, the popular jock kids who everyone loved, valedictorians, student class presidents, all that jazz. It’s a match made in Heaven.”

“Oh,” Keith said. “You think so?”

“You’re acting so weird,” Lance grumbled. “Aren’t you supposed to be Shiro’s bestie? Why’re you telling me about his crush instead of being a good wingman?”

“I’m trying,” Keith mumbled. “I’m just not very good at it. At all.”

“Well, I’m a great wingman,” Lance declared. “Shiro needs help? I’m here to save the day. Although I can’t imagine he has problems with the ladies.”

“You’d be surprised,” Keith said. “He’s shit at flirting.”

 _Why is that so freaking endearing?_ “It’s nothing a little Lance charm can’t fix,” Lance assured him. “We’ll have her swooning into Shiro’s arms in no time!”

Keith scratched the back of his head. “Uh...correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought you liked Allura?”

“I mean, at first, yeah! But she’s a teammate now, you know, and sort of like our boss, so it would be kinda weird.” Lance was pulling this out of his ass, completely and totally, but there was no way he was admitting to Keith that he had a crush on Shiro.

“So teammates are off-limits for you?” Keith pressed.

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Are _you_ trying to flirt with me, Kogane?”

Keith squawked like a very large bird. “No! Absolutely not. Nope. But would you be mad if I was?”

Lance opened his mouth, then closed it, completely bewildered. “Buddy,” he said slowly, “is there something you wanna tell me, or…?”

“You know what?” Keith said, shoving his staff a little too aggressively into its holder and stomping towards the door, “Nevermind.” Under his breath, he added, “I am so bad at this, oh my god, Shiro, I’m gonna kill you…”

“Keith, wait, what d’you mean?” Lance left his staff on the ground and hurried after him. “I don’t wanna hurt your feelings, dude, you’re just not my type!”

“Neither are you,” Keith said, stopping in his tracks and turning around to face Lance, arms folded. “So what _is_ your type?”

Lance gulped. There was a weird, intense look in Keith’s eyes and Lance barely managed to eke out, “Pretty...alien chicks?”

“Ugh, of course it is,” Keith said, throwing up his hands and turning on his heel.

Lance was left alone in the training room. He stared at his forlorn staff on the ground and whispered, “What the fuck?”

*

Shiro was going through a weapons report from a Galra-controlled colony in the common room when Lance sidled up to his chair and said, “ _Hey_.”

Shiro lifted his gaze with as much composure as he could muster and raised an eyebrow at Lance, who had draped himself over the arm of the chair, propped up on an elbow. He was batting his eyelashes. Had Shiro underestimated Keith’s wingman abilities after all? Trying to tamp down his rising nervousness, he cleared his throat and said, “Hey, Lance...what’s up?”

Lance grinned, and it made his entire face light up, and Shiro had escaped death more times than he could count but he was pretty sure Lance was gonna be the end of him. Then Lance said, “Sooo, you and Allura, huh? Keith told me.”

Shiro’s heart plummeted. _Allura?!_ “He did not,” Shiro whispered, horrified.

Lance’s frowned and he leaned in _closer_ , good Lord, did he have no concept of personal space? “Shiro, it’s okay – your secret is safe with me. I know I can have a big mouth sometimes, but not with stuff like this.”

“Uh,” Shiro said. He was sure there were visible beads of sweat on his brow. “That’s...thoughtful of you? But, Lance, I – Allura and I aren’t –”

Lance slapped him on the back and Shiro almost choked on air. “Not yet, buddy! But believe me, let me work my magic and you’ll get the princess, pinky promise.” He wrapped his pinky around Shiro’s and Shiro thought explicitly about strangling Keith. Or himself.

“Lance,” he muttered, “while I appreciate the offer, I’m gonna have to decline.”

Lance’s face fell. Shiro could feel his heart breaking. _Please, not the puppy dog eyes_. Lance looked at him with big, blue, imploring puppy dog eyes. “Why not?” Lance said, pouting in an attempt to disguise the fact that he was actually upset – Shiro could tell. “You really don’t want my help? Do you think I’m lying about being the best wingman ever? Are you doubting my mad skills with the ladies, Shirogane?”

Shiro was a weak, weak man. “Fine,” he sighed, shaking his head.

Lance whooped with delight. “Oh man, really? Yesss, okay, you’re not gonna regret this!”

 _I really, really am_ , Shiro thought miserably. “Great,” he croaked. “You’re a great friend.”

Lance patted him on the shoulder and beamed. “I know! Now, first thing’s first...I’m diggin’ the whole black ensemble you’ve got goin’ on, very fitting, pun intended – but Allura likes a softer look, y’know, pastels and all that.”

“Pastels?” Shiro repeated, confused. “Like...pink?”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Bold choice, buddy. But nah, for starters, I was thinking more like...white. And gold. Yeah, you’d look good in white and gold.”

Was it Shiro’s imagination, or was Lance blushing? “Hm,” he mused, “okay, if you say so. But where are we gonna find new clothes?”

“The space mall, duh,” Lance said, tugging on Shiro’s hand, _oh god Lance was holding his hand don’t freak out Takashi be cool be chill everything is fine_.

“You want to take me to the space mall?” Shiro managed. Lance nodded eagerly. “Like, uh, just the two of us, or –”

Lance hesitated. “Oh. Would that be weird if it was just you and me? You’re right, that would be weird.”

“I didn’t even say anything –”

Lance snapped his fingers. “I got it! We take Allura to the space mall, too! She loves shopping. And Keith, because he’s in on it too, and hey, maybe his lack of subtlety with help you out, who knows? Plus, it would be weird if it was just you, me, and Allura, because Allura’s smart and she would definitely realize something was up, but with Keith there too we can pretend it’s just like...a mission, or something.” He smirked. “Mission Impossible: Get Shiro A Date.”

“Hey!” Shiro exclaimed, swatting at him.

Lance dodged and laughed brightly. “Aw, c’mon, you know I’m joking. You could have anyone you wanted, Shiro.”

And before Shiro could ask him what _exactly_ he meant by _that_ , Lance practically skipped out of the room.

Shiro screamed quietly into his palms.

*

“Keith,” Shiro gritted out when he cornered him later that day.

“I did warn you,” Keith said. He didn’t even look apologetic.

“ _You told him that I have a crush on Allura_ ,” Shiro hissed.

“I did not!” Keith protested. “Lance assumed, and once he got it into his head, well, he took it upon himself to be a better wingman than me, which is fair I guess – and then he thought I was flirting with him, so –”

“What?!” Shiro stared at him in disbelief. “Keith, I love you, but what the hell.”

Keith frowned. “All of this could’ve been avoided if you just told him yourself.”

He was right. But Shiro was a coward, and he couldn’t bear to see the confusion and disgust in Lance’s eyes if he confessed. “I can’t,” he whispered. In all honesty, he knew it probably wasn’t better to draw it out like this, either – but it would be less painful when Lance rejected him. And maybe Lance would hate him a little less.

Keith must have seen the confliction on his face because he sighed, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. “Hey. Shiro, no matter what, Lance admires you, okay? He does. You’re the, uh, Garrison hero, or whatever.”

“I’m not a hero,” Shiro started, but Keith cut him off before he could go down that depressing road. Keith was good at that.

“You are to Lance,” Keith said. “Listen, we can still fix this. Maybe. I think.”

Shiro bit his lip. “Lance is planning a trip to the space mall to get me new clothes and woo Allura, I suppose. He wanted you and Allura to come along, to make it less...date-like.”

“Then there’s only one thing to do,” Keith said with frightening determination. Shiro raised a cautious eyebrow. “I have to tell Allura.”

Shiro’s eyes widened. “Oh, no,” he whispered in abject horror.

“Oh, yes,” Keith said.

*

Unsurprisingly, Keith was not good at being a wingman. He could’ve told Shiro that, but Shiro just didn’t listen, desperate as he was.

Which was why Keith was currently standing in Princess Allura’s room.

“Well?” Allura demanded, hands on her hips. “What is it, Keith?”

Keith winced. They’d been on rather cool terms since the Blade trials, and now that he was here, standing in front of the Altean princess, his resolve was significantly weakened. “I...made a mistake,” he admitted.

Her eyes narrowed in a way that would have struck terror into anyone’s heart, human or half Galra alike. “What did you do, Keith?”

“I sorta accidentally led Lance to believe that Shiro has a crush on you,” Keith sighed.

Allura tilted her head. “What is a ‘crush?’”

Oh, jeez. “When someone likes someone. Really likes them.”

Eye narrow number two. “In a sexual nature?”

“Uh,” Keith stammered, “not necessarily? More like romantically.”

“Oh.” She blinked. “Why did you make this mistake?”

Keith took a deep breath. “Because Shiro has a crush on Lance and wanted me to be his wingman – which means he wanted me to, uh, help him woo Lance instead of outright confessing his feelings. But when I told Lance that Shiro was pining, he assumed I meant Shiro was pining after _you_ , and now he’s appointed himself Shiro’s wingman and is planning to go to the space mall with you, me, and Shiro and turning the whole thing into an attempt to woo you, even though Shiro doesn’t have a crush on you, he has a crush on Lance, and also all of this is top secret and you can’t tell anyone or Shiro will kill me and then...well probably not kill you, but just don’t tell anyone anyway.”

Allura looked utterly flabbergasted, and no wonder – Keith was pretty sure that was by far the longest string of words she’d ever heard from him. “Oh, dear. I...see. Is...is that all?”

“We can’t let Lance be Shiro’s wingman at the space mall,” Keith said desperately. “Shiro said yes to Lance because he’s too infatuated to refuse, so it’s happening, but you and I need to be better wingmen and get Lance to like Shiro instead. So every time Lance hints that you should date Shiro, we gotta just deflect it back to Lance. Okay?”

Allura’s brow furrowed. “Date? Isn’t that a fruit on Earth?”

Keith resisted the urge to scream. “Listen, are you with me, or not?”

“I’m with you,” she said slowly. “But how will we do it? Are you good at this ‘wingman’ business?”

“Nope,” Keith said. “Absolutely not.”

Allura frowned and folded her arms. “Then we will have to work together. It is part of my duty to ensure the wellbeing of the paladins, and if Shiro is pining after Lance, that must be resolved as quickly as possible to ensure the integrity of Voltron.” She smiled, a bit slyly. “And intimacy between the paladins never hurts. I do hope we can reach a happy resolution here...for Shiro and Lance’s sake.”

“Me too,” Keith agreed, and hoped Allura was better at this than him.

*

She wasn’t.

*

Shiro had been in a lot of life or death situations before, but somehow going to the space mall with Lance really took the cake. Shiro was a damsel in distress, and he was counting on Keith and Allura to save him, which was...not incredibly reassuring.

Because, sure, the Princess was capable and a good leader, but she seemed about as awkward and blunt as Keith when it came to flirting, so far. Allura had flown in the Blue Lion with Lance despite Lance’s wheedling for her to go in the Black Lion, during which Keith and Shiro had just cringed in unison. And, according to Lance, Allura had spent the entire ride elbowing him and talking about how great Shiro was.

“She’s really into you, dude!” Lance had whispered gleefully into Shiro’s ear.

“Gah,” Shiro said, strangled, because _that was Lance’s breath on his ear_.

Lance gave him a weird look. “You good? Don’t tell me you got ahold of some nunvil for the nerves, buddy – you just gotta be yourself. Shiro, but a little more suave. Can you do suave, Shiro?”

Shiro just wanted Lance to keep saying his name. “Uh-huh,” he mumbled. “Sure, Lance.”

“I know you can,” Lance said, grinning and punching his shoulder lightly. “You’re the Garrison golden boy, c’mon, where’s that Shiro?”

“Garrison golden boy?” Shiro repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Lance, suddenly seeming to realize their close proximity, took a step back, and...his face was definitely a little pink. “Just...you just...well, everybody liked you, at the Garrison. You just got that natural, um…”

“Charisma?” Shiro finished.

“Yeah, that!” Lance said quickly, and nodded at Allura and Keith, who were frowning over the mall map (in actuality, Shiro was sure they were plotting). “Go get her, tiger.”

“Don’t ever call me that again,” Shiro groaned, shaking his head and reluctantly heading over to Keith and Allura.

“Okay, tiger,” Lance snickered. “How ‘bout El Tigre? Or – aha, I got it: Shiro Khan! Get it, like Shere Khan from _The Jungle Book_ , ha, that’s a good one.”

He rolled his eyes fondly. “Yeah, Lance, I got it.” Shiro had fallen for the biggest dork in the Universe, he was pretty sure.

Lance shot him finger guns, clearly delighted with himself.

“So, Princess, see any exciting stores?” Shiro asked when he reached Allura, and immediately mentally punched himself. Exciting stores? Really? Ugh.

Allura beamed at him and fluttered her eyelashes and if Shiro hadn’t sensed danger before, he sure did now. He tried to plead with her via his eyes alone, but she ignored him and exclaimed, “Why yes, Shiro, I did see quite a few _exciting_ stores. I simply _adore_ shopping, you know.”

“The space mall has a sex shop,” Keith blurted out, popping up from behind Allura like a gopher.

“Whoa, Keith, okay then,” Lance said, eyes wide. “Like...like Spencers, or, uh, how sexy we talkin’ bout, here?”

“What’s Spencers?” Keith and Allura said in unison.

Shiro rubbed his temple. “We are _not_ going to space Spencers,” he tried, and failed.

*

Allura was determined to go to space Spencers after the rest of their shopping adventures and Keith wasn’t stopping her, and Lance still thought Shiro liked Allura so he was just going along with whatever she wanted. Basically, Shiro was hopelessly outnumbered.

“It’ll be like the grand finale,” Keith wheedled.

“I hate you,” Shiro said. “Besides, it’s a sex shop for _aliens_. For all you know, this could be a Little Shop of Horrors.”

“Feed me, Seymour,” Lance whined in a terrible yet adorable imitation of Audrey II. Shiro snorted but Keith gave him a weird look. “Oh, c’mon, Keith – that one’s a sci-fi classic!

“Talk to Shiro about sci-fi classics, he knows ‘em all,” Keith retorted, which was _not true_ , but Lance whirled on his heel and looked at Shiro with excitement, and Shiro’s poor brain struggled frantically to recall everything it had ever absorbed about sci-fi all at once.

Oblivious to Shiro’s dilemma, Lance said, “Really?! Hell yes, finally someone besides Pidge to nerd out with. Pidge always goes waaay too in-depth with it, like no thanks Katie I don’t want to know how the binary code in Tron doesn’t make sense, it looks cool as fuck, so, there. Now, where’s my light cycle?”

Lance was somehow even cuter when he was excited, and his animated rambling washed away all of Shiro’s anxious thoughts easily. “You have a giant robot lion, isn’t that cooler?” Shiro chuckled. “Step aside, Kevin Flynn, Lance Espinosa’s here.”

Lance grinned. “You’re right, Blue would kick light cycle butt. So, what’s your favorite classic sci-fi flick? No – wait, lemme guess!” His nose scrunched up in deep thought. “Blade Runner?”

Shiro shrugged. “It was good, but I didn’t really like the ending.”

“That’s fair. Terminator?”

“No!” Shiro laughed. “I never could get behind the whole Arnold Schwarzenegger thing.”

Lance gasped. “But you have so much in common!”

“You take that back!” Shiro warned, feigning indignance.

“Don’t you mean _I’ll be back?”_ Lance cackled, dodging Shiro’s swipe at him.

A few passing aliens were staring. Keith was barely repressing a smug smirk. Shiro, realizing they were making a scene, cleared his throat and focused on following Allura, who was marching determinedly to their first location.

“I...I didn’t mean that, y’know,” Lance offered, hurrying to keep up and mistaking Shiro’s chagrin for irritation. “You’re a lot cooler than the Terminator. And less, y’know, Arnold-y.”

“Arnold-y?” Shiro inquired, giving him a sidelong glance and smiling. “What am I, then?”

Shiro thought he heard Keith say oh my god from several feet ahead, and ignored it, his face hot.

Lance laughed nervously. “You’re you. And you is...pretty awesome.”

“My favorite sci-fi is Akira,” Shiro told him. “With Alien at a close second, ironically enough.”

“You’ve got damn good taste, Shirogane,” Lance said. There was something in his tone, Shiro swore, but he didn’t have time to decipher it because Allura was tugging him into a huge, shiny store, and after that everything descended into chaos.

*

“Wow,” Lance said. “I was right, because of course I was. You look good in white.”

“It’d be unfortunate if I didn’t,” Shiro said, straightening the lapels of the cream and gold suit and subtly admiring it in the mirror. “It’s in the name, after all.”

“Shiro is wearing white _and_ he’s making jokes,” Lance whispered. “Am I dying?”

“Nope, you’re very alive, and you’re trying this on,” Keith said, shoving some kind of sapphire blue and black garment into Lance’s arms. Lance blinked and Keith herded him towards the dressing room. “Go, hurry, Allura already has like six others picked out!”

“Wait – why am I trying stuff on?” Lance squawked. “Where’s Allura, isn’t she gonna –”

“I’m right here,” Allura called from a few aisles over, disregarding the amorphous orange blob alien next to her who was waiting impatiently to get past, and waving around several new outfits in varying shades and styles. One of them looked alarmingly skimpy.

Keith successfully shoved Lance into the dressing room and after about thirty seconds of silence, Lance half-shrieked, “Keith, you asshat! I’m not wearing this, no siree, this is – what even _is_ this?!”

Allura winked at Shiro from over a clothing rack. “It’s flattering to your frame!” Allura called back. “Just try it on, give us a twirl, you’re confident enough to make it work!”

“What is she talking about?” Shiro whispered, fearful.

“Don’t worry, you’re next,” Keith said, a distinctly evil gleam in his eye.

There were some disgruntled sounds and a long stream of indecipherable cursing, and then after several minutes Lance opened the door and peeked out. “Guys,” he said, or rather squeaked. “This is...a lot.”

“Are you shy?” Keith said. “Having second thoughts, maybe?”

“No!” Lance retorted hotly, and flung the door open, and Shiro’s jaw fell open with it (until he hastily closed it and covered his mouth with a hand as discreetly as possible).

Lance was wearing...yeah, no, Shiro didn’t know what to call it, either. It was kind of like a tunic with a gaping v-neck, translucent sections, frills at Lance’s wrists and throat, cut-outs at his hips and thighs and oh, okay, yep, his entire back was open, and the garment hung dangerously low, and Shiro steadfastly Did Not Look. At all. Wow, the ceiling in this place was so interesting.

“Lance, it’s lovely!” Allura said. “Perhaps not the most practical attire, but I’m so glad it fits.” She placed special emphasis on _fits_. Shiro was sweating through the brand new suit.

Lance struck a pose. “Bet you wish you looked this good, Keith.”

“It’s definitely a look,” Keith admitted. “But yeah, sure, I’ll try on something weird, too. And so will Shiro. Right, Shiro?”

Shiro gulped.

Without further ado, Allura handed him something that was far too lightweight to cover much of anything at all. And it was purple and black. And he was pretty sure those were sequins. Space sequins? Good lord. “Princess,” Shiro tried, but Allura’s expression broached no room for disagreement.

Keith didn’t even look upset about his skimpy red outfit of choice as he headed into his own dressing room. Shiro shut the door and stared at the garment. He carefully took off the suit and finally lifted up the purple fabric, his heart sinking as he did so. Unhappily, he put it on, but the longer he stood in front of the mirror staring at his reflection, the less he wanted to leave the dressing room.

On anyone else, probably, it would’ve been fine. But on him, the sheer, glittering purple fabric covering his arms in a thin sort of mesh just looked grotesque where it strained over the muscles, and the laces that were supposed to provide a bit of a tease of chest were stretched too-wide, exposing most of his heavily scarred skin to the world, way more than he was comfortable with. It stretched too tight over his shoulders and back and the bottom half wasn’t much better – too-tight leggings with laces up the sides of his legs that did about as much as the laces on his chest.

He must have been staring for a while because there was a loud knock on the door and he jumped, hands instantly moving to try to cover himself (which was a lost cause in this getup).

“Shiro, c’mon, we’re waiting on you!” Keith called. “Lance and I are dressed up too, so don’t worry, we all look like idiots. Except Allura, who looks very pleased with herself.”

“No,” Shiro said in a small voice. “No, that’s okay, I, um, I’d really rather not.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Lance exclaimed, “Okay, Shiro, I’m comin’ in there right now!” and that was all the warning got before Lance busted into his dressing room, the door clicking shut behind him. Petrified, Shiro cowered in the corner as far away from him as possible, which wasn’t very far at all.

Lance had been ready to give him an inspiring speech about sucking it up and showing off to Allura, from the looks of it, but when he saw Shiro he was speechless. And not in a good way, judging by how he blanched, eyes widening.

“I know,” Shiro whispered, hunching over. “It’s bad.”

Lance’s brows drew together, his hand twitching in an abortive attempt to reach out before falling back limply to his side. “I...I didn’t know you had so many scars,” he mumbled. “Did...are they from the Galra?”

“Who else?” Shiro sighed, looking away.

“Shit, man,” Lance said, shaking his head. “I’m. I’m sorry.”

Shiro winced. “It’s okay,” he lied.

Lance was frowning. “Shiro, hey,” he murmured, “if you’re worried that any of us will judge you, that’s not...we would never. Okay? And, honestly, it’s kind of annoying how incredible you look in this ridiculous outfit, dude.”

Shiro blinked. “What? I don’t –”

“Yeah, you do,” Lance huffed, and he was still in the frilly blue outfit and there was less than three feet between them and Shiro was squirming as subtly as possible. Lance was still talking. “You’re hot, okay, and if Allura can’t see that then she’s missin’ out! But if you’re not comfortable with struttin’ your stuff in this, no worries, there’s other ways to woo. I got you covered. Literally.” He tossed Shiro’s original clothes at him with a lopsided grin that made Shiro’s heart skip a beat. “Get changed and I’ll choose the next place, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Shiro whispered. “I…thanks, Lance.” _Lance called you hot. Does that mean Lance thinks you’re hot?_

“De nada, my man,” Lance called over his shoulder as he slipped out of the room, and that time, Shiro did look at his back.

He also didn’t miss the way that Lance carefully angled the door shut so Shiro wasn’t in danger of being seen by anyone else.

*

Lance kept the next location very secret, which was annoying Allura and Keith to no end.

“You guys had your fun at the last store, so it’s my turn,” he declared, before leading them what seemed like halfway across the entire mall. Shiro didn’t care where they were going as long as there was no revealing lingerie for him. But when they did reach Lance’s location of choice...Shiro was pleasantly surprised.

It was the Earth shop that Pidge had told Shiro all about. He hadn’t been able to visit the space mall with them that first time, but she had gone on and on about how amazing it was that the shop owner had been able to get ahold of so many things from Earth. And as the four of them walked in, Shiro was pretty amazed, too – it really made you wonder how many aliens had been to Earth without humans knowing.

“Ta da!” Lance exclaimed. He whispered conspiratorially to Shiro, “Maybe you can show the Princess some cool Earth stuff, yeah?”

“That’s a great idea, Lance,” Shiro said, though his heart felt heavy all over again as he remembered why they were really here.

Lance ushered Allura over and she played along, but as soon as she reached Shiro she hissed, “So? What happened in the dressing room?”

Shiro frowned. “Nothing. Nothing happened.”

“But you and Lance –”

“I said nothing happened,” Shiro snapped, and immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry, Princess. I’m just...I hate keeping Lance in the dark like this.”

“Then tell him,” Allura murmured. “Just tell him, Shiro.”

Shiro looked at Lance from across the store – he and Keith were rifling through what looked like a box of records, and it was nice to see the two of them actually getting along for once, even if Keith was probably still in wingman mode. Lance laughed at something Keith said, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, and Shiro looked away. “I can’t,” he whispered.

“Why not?” Allura pressed gently. “On Altea, courtship was usually more...forthright. Not to say that there was no coyness, but...this just seems ineffective, honestly.”

“Maybe that’s for the best,” Shiro said. Allura frowned and he sighed. “I’m the Black Paladin, I’m supposed to be the leader of Voltron, and it would be wrong for me to...to be in a relationship with one of the other paladins. Wouldn’t it?” Before she could answer, he added, “And besides, Lance doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want me – and I can’t blame him, of course he’d prefer a pretty girl to...this.” He gestured vaguely at himself.

“You really think that?” Allura asked, looking rather sad. Shiro nodded mutely. “Shiro, I really do think you should just speak with Lance about this before jumping to conclusions.”

“And risk ruining how Lance sees me forever?”

“That’s a tad dramatic,” Allura said. “Why do you think so badly of yourself? Lance certainly doesn’t see you in such a negative light.”

“Yet,” Shiro said under his breath.

He was saved from further conversation by Keith brushing past him and covertly slipping something into his palm. “Give it to Lance,” he muttered, just loud enough for Shiro to hear. Shiro was confused until he looked at the item Keith had given him – it was what looked like an old Polaroid of a beautiful beach, and its previous owner had scrawled on the back: _Varadero Beach, 1993_.

Oh. Shiro opened his mouth to thank Keith, but Keith had already tugged Allura away to look at a gumball machine...leaving Shiro with the photograph and an approaching Lance. He took a deep breath and held out the photo. “Hey, thought you might like this,” he said.

Lance took the photo, and his eyes widened. “Dude! Where did you find – oh, wow, talk about nostalgia.”

“You’ve been there?” Shiro asked carefully.

Lance bit his lip and nodded, his eyes looking a little misty. “Yeah, my family used to visit every summer. My abuelos lived not too far from the beach, actually.” He wiped his eyes hastily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring back any painful memories –”

“No, no, you’re good,” Lance assured him. “It’s just. Man, I miss them. My abuelos passed a couple months before I got accepted into the Garrison, and it was...hard.” He glanced up at Shiro hesitantly. “Didn’t you mention once that your grandpa raised you?”

“Yeah,” Shiro said, his chest tight. “He, um, he actually passed pretty soon after I graduated high school, so. I guess I kind of know how you feel.”

Lance grimaced sympathetically. “Damn, that sucks. The Universe really owes you a fuckin’ break, Shiro.”

“Eh, I’ve survived this far,” Shiro said mildly.

“No, I mean it,” Lance said, his gaze darting away. “After this, if you wanna, we should...do something fun. Relax while we can.”

“Isn’t this supposed to be fun and relaxing?” Shiro asked, trying to ignore his brain whispering _is that a date it sounds like a date is Lance asking you on a date?!_

“This is a serious mission,” Lance retorted, elbowing him and prancing over to the grumpy-looking shop owner to buy the photo.

“Right,” Shiro sighed. Maybe the Universe did owe him a break, but somehow Shiro doubted it would ever make good on that debt.

*

“There’s no way we’re all gonna fit in this photobooth thing,” Shiro said for the third time, to no avail.

“Sure we can,” Keith said, climbing over him and kneeing him in the face. “Oh, sorry.”

“Yeah, Allura can just sit in Shiro’s lap,” Lance suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. Shiro leaned back against the metal wall and sighed deeply.

“I think you’re actually smaller, Lance,” Allura replied, sweet as sugar. Shiro glared daggers at her. Lance looked like he stopped breathing for a few seconds.

“Help,” Keith said from where he was sandwiched between Shiro’s Galra arm and the corner of the booth. “I’ve made a mistake.”

Shiro sighed and helped Keith get himself un-crushed, trying to not feel awful about how incredibly uncomfortable Lance looked at just the mere suggestion of sitting on Shiro’s lap. “Keith, you’re the smallest, you sit on my lap,” he said, and Keith grumbled but complied, perhaps seeing Lance’s discomfort, too.

Allura slipped in on the seat next to Shiro and Lance managed to scramble halfway onto her lap. The space photobooth was weirdly similar to its Earth counterpart, and Shiro tried his best to make funny faces with the others as the camera prompted them to. Lance, unsurprisingly, chose the “Love” theme, and for the last picture he cried, “Quick, kiss the closest person’s cheek!” and Shiro turned towards Keith at the same time that Keith turned towards him, promptly smashing their noses together as Allura kissed Shiro’s cheek and Lance kissed Allura’s.

“Ow,” Keith said as they collected their pictures. “Shiro, is your nose made out of Galran metal, too?”

His nose was bleeding. Shiro winced and Allura handed Keith a handkerchief. “Sorry,” he sighed. He looked down at the pictures – they were the cheesiest thing he’d ever seen, and he was keeping them forever. The last picture was the best – Allura smiling as she pecked Shiro’s cheek and Lance with his eyes scrunched shut in concentration kissing Allura’s, both of them perfectly in-focus while Keith and Shiro were a blur of dark hair and regrets.

Shiro looked up to congratulate Lance on finding the photobooth in the first place...only to find that Lance was chatting with a passing alien. He paused. The alien was tall and had shiny golden skin, an arched spine lined with rubbery spikes, muscled arms and legs, and an antlered head and ears vaguely resembling a hare’s, but with a sharper jaw and features that were masculine in appearance. Its head was cocked as it spoke to Lance, and from Lance’s body language Shiro was pretty sure they weren’t just talking about the weather.

Sure enough, as their words carried, he heard Lance say, “Are all the Jakarians as attractive as you?” and saw the alien react, its ears flicking back in apparent flattered embarrassment.

“That I cannot answer,” it said, voice low and smooth and _definitely male_ , “but I am certain you are one of the prettiest little creatures I have ever encountered.”

Shiro hadn’t realized his hands had curled into fists until Keith nudged him and muttered, “Well, guess that answers the question of whether or not Lance is into guys…?”

“Lance, let’s go,” Shiro said sharply, glowering at the Jakarian. It gazed at him with dark, faintly surprised eyes, and took a step away from Lance. Lance turned and frowned at Shiro, blinking at his stern expression.

“I’m starving!” Allura announced, breaking the tension and pointing to a nearby map. “We should go explore the food court.”

“I love eating,” Keith agreed, and hissed, “and I also love not murderously staring at strangers, Shiro, come _on_.”

Shiro followed stiffly, gritting his teeth as he heard Lance reluctantly wish the stranger farewell and hurry after them. Keith caught up to Allura, leaving Lance next to Shiro. “You don’t have to do that,” Lance muttered crossly. “I can take care of myself, and I wasn’t in danger –”

“You don’t know that,” Shiro interrupted. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Oh, lighten up. Did you forget the whole point of this trip? Or are you the only one allowed to flirt? In which case, you’re not exactly on your game, Shiro. At this rate, Keith’s gonna get with Allura before you do.” He nodded to the two of them walking up ahead together.

“No, that’s not –” Shiro bit his tongue, and lowered his voice. “I just want you to be safe, Lance. Not everybody has good intentions. In fact, I think our experiences in space so far have confirmed that _most_ people don’t have good intentions.”

“No wonder you don’t have a date yet,” Lance groused. “Assuming the worst about everybody won’t get you anywhere.”

“If it won’t get me imprisoned in a Galra ship again, then I’m alright with that,” Shiro snapped. Lance looked stricken. Shiro turned away, silently cursing himself. “I didn’t mean…”

“No, I got it,” Lance muttered. “No flirting with alien strangers, noted. Happy?”

 _No,_ Shiro thought miserably, but nodded curtly and kept walking.

*

Shiro’s lunch didn’t taste like much of anything even though Allura and Lance were raving about how delicious it was. They’d found the restaurant Hunk had told them about, and as soon as they told the owner they were Hunk’s friends, he’d given them a huge discount and heaped their plates with food. Shiro just wasn’t very hungry anymore. Keith kept shooting him worried looks which Shiro did not return.

This whole excursion had just been a mistake. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been, if he was being honest – he’d just seen Lance’s earnest face and all thought and reason had gone right out the window. Shiro was painfully aware that he was head over heels for someone he would never be able to have. This day had just made the realization more painful.

But it wasn’t over yet. Allura was still set on going to space Spencers, and Shiro didn’t have the energy to protest anymore. He figured it would just be the disaster cherry atop this whole mess. They finished up lunch and headed to their final destination, and Lance made a point of walking with Keith instead of Shiro. Allura fell in step with Shiro and said, “He’s stubborn. I know you meant well, but…”

“No, he’s right,” Shiro said dully. “I don’t have any right to tell him what he can and cannot do.”

“You worry for his wellbeing, and rightfully so,” Allura corrected firmly. “The Universe is a dangerous place, and Lance is frequently foolishly bold in the face of those dangers. He is lucky to have you looking out for him.”

“He doesn’t seem to agree,” Shiro mumbled.

“Enough moping, you,” Allura said, bumping her shoulder against his arm and coming to a stop. “Here we are.” She smiled at him. “At least try to have fun, Shiro. Stop thinking so much, stop worrying – just have fun with your friends.”

“In space Spencers,” Shiro said flatly.

“Yes,” Allura said, and pushed him inside.

*

It was a lot more than Spencers.

“Keith, will you _stop touching everything_ ,” Shiro gritted out.

“No,” Keith said, picking up something green, fluffy, and adorned with some kind of jingly bells. “What do you even do with this?”

“I don’t think you wanna know,” Lance said, peering at the top shelves with an expression that was equal parts fascinated and horrified. “Is that a torture device?”

“Some people are into that,” Keith said mildly, picking up what Shiro initially thought was a giant black baseball bat, and quickly realized was something very, very different. Keith must have come to the same realization, because his face screwed up and he mumbled, “How…?!”

Lance, oblivious, grabbed it and said, “Huh, a baseball bat, weird.”

Shiro walked away as fast as possible, face hot. Allura was in a different section – the shelves were lined with varying bottles that looked like perfumes. Shiro folded his arms and watched her examine several labels with a critical eye, amused and intrigued despite himself. “Have you been here before, Princess?”

“Hmph, now why would you ask such a question?” Allura retorted, lips quirked. “Find anything interesting?”

“No…” Shiro chanced a glance back at Keith and Lance, and made a face – Lance was swinging the definitely-not-a-baseball-bat at Keith while Keith shrieked and grabbed a whip to defend himself. They were about ten seconds from getting kicked out, Shiro guessed.

“Oh well. And no, I haven’t been to this particular shop before,” Allura said, which wasn’t really an answer. Her gaze had drifted, and she tilted her head. “Huh, what’s back there, do you suppose?” Shiro followed her gaze – towards the back of the shop was an arched entryway strung with beads and shiny crystals. There was a sign hanging over it written in a language Shiro didn’t know, but Allura read it aloud. “Free Love Consultations? That does sound useful...doesn’t it, Shiro?”

“Allura, that looks kind of sketchy – okay, fine, ignore the alarm bells,” he groaned as she practically dragged him toward it.

“Lance, Keith, get over here!” Allura ordered, and miraculously they stopped fighting with whips and giant dildos and joined the two of them at the weird entryway. “It says we can get free love consultations in here.”

“Oooh,” Lance said. “Princess, you should totally get one. And you too, Shiro. Turn that frown upside down, maybe.”

“Let’s all go in,” Allura said, and stepped under the arch and into a small, round little room. There was a table at the opposite end of the room, and an alien with round, nearly-opaque spectacles was sitting there, gnarled hands folded on the tabletop, which was strewn with various herbs, bowls, gems, and what looked suspiciously like a crystal ball.

“Hello,” said the bespectacled alien in a raspy, creaky sort of voice. “Are you here for a consultation?”

“No, I was actually hoping for a cookie,” Lance said sarcastically under his breath. The alien looked at him and he froze. It crooked a long finger at him.

“You, sit.” It pointed to one of the two chairs at the table.

Confused, Lance did. Then, to Shiro’s horror, the alien pointed at him and said, “And you, also. Sit, sit.”

“Me?” Shiro shook his head. “I think you’re mistaken –”

“I am never mistaken,” it said tartly, and pointed again to the chair next to Lance, who looked on the verge of bolting as Shiro gingerly sat down. Allura and Keith lingered awkwardly in the doorway, exchanging looks. “Now,” the alien said, reaching out across the table, “we will consult. Put your hand in his.” Lance hesitated, and the alien grumbled, grabbing his wrist and practically slapping his hand atop Shiro’s palm. Lance’s flinch was unmistakable, and Shiro could feel his hand trembling when the alien forced Shiro to intertwine their fingers, holding Lance’s hand securely in his own.

“Listen, I think there’s been a mistake,” Shiro started, and Lance ducked his head, brow furrowed and mouth set in a thin, unhappy line. “We aren’t –”

“In love?” The alien clicked its tongue. “But of course you are!”

Lance’s hand was twitching, clearly not wanting to be there. Shiro tamped down his hurt – he was rather good at that – and said in the most level voice he could manage, “No, we aren’t. Lance isn’t my –”

Lance wrenched his hand free of Shiro’s and stumbled upright, knocking over the chair with a loud clatter that echoed through the shop. “I’m done,” Lance gasped, his eyes wild and expression heartbreaking. He looked at Shiro and Shiro stared back, startled. “I thought I could do this, but I was wrong, I was so wrong, I _can’t_ ,” and Lance ran out of the room, out of the shop, and Shiro didn’t even think before hurrying after him, terrified at the thought of Lance upset and alone on the swap moon.

He caught up to Lance a couple shops down, and Lance slumped against the nearest wall, and he was _crying_ , tears dripping down his cheeks no matter how furiously he blinked and wiped at his eyes. Shiro reached out to him, and Lance recoiled, voice breaking when he said, “I – I only wanted to help you, and I couldn’t even do that. Because I figured, if I can’t ever have you, we can at least be friends, but I can’t – it’s so pathetic, I _know_ , but I can’t just be your friend, Shiro. I can’t.”

“Why not?” Shiro whispered, his heart pounding, hoping.

“You know why,” Lance whispered back. “Don’t – don’t make me say it.”

“Lance,” Shiro breathed, stepping closer.

“I’m in love with you,” Lance said, squeezing his eyes shut in shame. “And I’m so sorry – mmph!”

Shiro took Allura’s advice and stopped thinking so much. He just kissed Lance like he’d been dying to for months now. It had been more than a big fat stupid crush, as much as he’d tried to deny it. Why admit the truth when nothing would ever come of it? But this – this was something; Lance gasping into his mouth and scrabbling clumsily at his chest in a moment of shock before melting into it, arms winding around Shiro’s neck and pulling him closer, letting Shiro push him up against the wall and kiss him breathless.

Even when Lance broke away, panting, Shiro couldn’t help himself from pressing tiny, desperate, shivery kisses to Lance’s lips and cheek and jaw, cradling the back of Lance’s neck carefully, holding him close with an arm around his slender waist. Lance’s eyes were half-lidded and awed, and Shiro could see the imprint of his teeth on Lance’s full lips.

“I’m in love with you, too,” Shiro admitted, leaning his forehead against Lance’s and indulging in a little nuzzle. He felt a tremor go through Lance at his words.

“Why...but Allura…?” Lance mumbled, brows drawing together.

“Keith was my original wingman,” Shiro chuckled. “For you.”

He saw the wheels turning in Lance’s head as his eyes widened. “So – so then, you never –”

“No,” Shiro sighed. “Allura’s in on it, too. I didn’t have the heart to say no to you – I know you wanted to help, and I knew it would hurt you if I refused. But Lance, you did help. Are helping, still, I – I never thought you would…” He cupped Lance’s face, dragging his thumb over the curve of his jaw, wondering.

“Shiro,” Lance murmured, smiling helplessly, “I’ve kinda been in love with you since we met.” He traced Shiro’s lips with a soft finger. “But...but I thought you wouldn’t take me seriously, or that you weren’t into guys and would just let me down gently, which would somehow be even worse.”

“I thought I would be overstepping my bounds and acting inappropriately as leader of Voltron,” Shiro replied ruefully. “And, for the record, I’m very into guys. And very into you. Seriously.”

“Mmm, good,” Lance hummed, tipping his face up for another kiss, which Shiro gladly gave. After a few seconds, though, Shiro started giggling, and Lance pulled away, eyebrows raised. “What’s so funny, huh?”

“Mission accomplished,” Shiro said with a grin, and scooped his date up into his arms. Keith and Allura were doing victory dances from the sidelines, and everyone was staring, and Lance was laughing, and Shiro thought that maybe Lance really was the best wingman ever after all.


End file.
